As a wife who has a husband in prison serving a life sentence, I want to share with other wives and families living it that I can relate to your pain, your adversity, the brokeness, the emptiness from a love one not being home with you everyday and all the challenges that you face along the journey.
I would like to be transparent and honest that in the middle doubt did seep in and I started to feel a bit hopeless, even though I am a woman of faith. God ressaured me in my faith to trust him for what I believe.
Faith is the strength that keeps us going and it keeps us motivated to believe that the outcome is not what the courts said it shall be! But what God says, it will be! This is what gives me the courage to stand, to love and continue the journey with my husband until victory takes its place in our lives!
When I am asked, why do I stay? I tell people I stay because I believe in his life. He is not his past but his purpose and he deserves a second chance to show that.
There is healing in love, there is power in love, there is a renewed strength in love! We sometimes forget that they have been judged badly and the only thing that keeps them motivated is knowing that their family is in their corner and someone out here cares about their life even when they may feel like giving up.
The love of family and friends keeps them sane in an insane environment. Prison strips them of all humanity and any form of emotion they could want to feel towards people in their life.
One of the biggest emotions they shut down is around the holiday season. Now my husband does not celebrate certain holidays, but he respects that I do celebrate with my family.
He will not even call! His reasoning is because he does not want to disrupt that and I do understand. For some others the response and reactions are different. Some do not even have families, children, or anyone in their life. I believe they turn this emotion into a silent emotion because it hurts too much they cannot be home with us.
They have to learned mask the pain and emotion from those close to them. Holidays are not easy, but like myself you press by that negative emotion and choose to find some peace and joy knowing that is what they would want you to do. I have learned that you cannot incarcerate yourself with them, because you are needed and have life to live and things have to get done!
This is reality! But many do the opposite and it is not healthy nor fair to your family and children if you have any children. What is not in your control you leave it and lean on what is helping you get through and for many of us, it is our faith, prayer, meditation, support groups, family , friends, and advocates.
For me, I do not feel any guilt or judgement anymore about the life choice I made. I own my truth live it and walk in it everyday. I have a purpose I serve out here, he serves his purpose in there. God uses us both.
We touch people’s lives everyday and that is a blessing to do. I do not believe our journey we have traveled so long is for nothing. We cannot and will not give up now when we are so close to the miracle and the storm being over even though sun shines through!
This prison journey has become apart of our purpose to encourage others from all we have been through together.
No it is not easy, but we were built for this! With faith we shall survive it!
As we are encouraged in God’s unfailing love everyday and as our love for one another grows stronger, I encourage you wife, sister, mother, brother, friend, community and others to never quit on love and the power it holds. And never give up on those you love.
1 Corinthians 13:8 Love never fails
1Peter 4:8 Above all, love each other because love covers over a multitude of sins.